The Power of Music

Why is it that we - or perhaps I - become more keenly aware of song lyrics during turning points in life? Since the passing of Michael Jackson, I've taken some comfort in and am really trying to tap into some motivation from "Man in the Mirror." But yesterday as I was sitting by the pool listening to my iPod, OAR's "Shattered" came on and it really struck a chord. I've always liked the song, and I have known most of the words, but something about it yesterday really resonated with me. Here are the lyrics for your own pleasure:

In a way, I need a change
From this burnout scene
Another time, another town
Another everything
But it's always back to you

Stumble out, in the night
From the pouring rain
Made the block, sat and thought
There's more I need
It's always back to you

But I'm good without ya
Yeah, I'm good without you
Yeah, yeah, yeah

How many times can I break till I shatter?
Over the line can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
Give me a break let me make my own pattern
All that it takes is some time but I'm shattered
I always turn the car around

I had no idea that the night
Would take so damn long
Took it out, on the street
While the rain still falls
Push me back to you

But I'm good without ya
Yeah, I'm good without you
Yeah, yeah, yeah

How many times can I break till I shatter?
Over the line can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
Give me a break let me make my own pattern
All that it takes is some time but I'm shattered
I always turn the car around

Give it up, give it up, baby
Give it up, give it up, now
Now

How many times can I break till I shatter?
Over the line can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
All that I feel is the realness I'm faking
Taking my time but it's time that I'm wasting
Always turn the car around

How many times can I break till I shatter?
Over the line can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around

Don't wanna turn that car around
I gotta turn this thing around

While the whole song speaks to me - and all the many ways it can be interpreted - it's the bolded lines above that really hit home. I don't believe I am completely faking life right now, though I do believe that it is a part of the coping process - for any situation. Hell, "fake it til you make it" used to me my motto, and it got me through some trying situations. But eventually the need to "fake it" subsided. I learned how to be me...and now it's time to learn how to be me again.

I'm tired of going through these cycles of faking and realness.

If only I could just snap my fingers...