Discomfort is a bitch. I wish I were the kind of person that loved new experiences - the kind of person who willingly walked into new situations and just put herself out there. Those kinds of people are fun. I'm really a little envious of them right now. And guess what...I used to be that kind of person. Well sort of. And big surprise...guess when that was?? Yup, college.
That was then...this is now. But what has changed?
A lot, I suppose.
In college, I was constantly surrounded by people I knew, people I felt safe around, people who would do anything to make sure that I didn't get hurt - or hurt myself. That's why I could be the person I was then. I had a constant safety net, a set crew of people I could look to for quick verification before testing the waters.
That was then...this is now. Times change. People grow up and move on. My cord has been cut.
But not completely severed. And that's what I have to constantly remind myself of. Just because the people I once relied on for support, confidence, and reassurance are no longer within eyesight or reaching distance doesn't mean they're not there at all. I'm not alone. I don't have to pretend that I am or prove that I can make it alone. But I can't expect them to just intuitively know when I need them either.
It's time I let go of the self-preservation act. It's time to stop thinking that I am better off keeping to myself or that it's ok to just let friendships dissipate. I'm not. And it is definitely not ok to continue on this way.
Today is the day I challenge myself to do one new thing everyday.
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